I didn't write a blog yesterday because I felt like I was coming down with the flu so I spent much of the day in bed. This morning I decided that I've over burdened myself by trying to post five times a week. Don't hate me but I'm going to post once a week only, every Wednesday. If I can squeeze more in, you'll be the first to know.
I'm sitting in the garden with jazz music playing on my Aukey speaker and I can hear my neighbours gardening. It's a beautiful day and just as I go to type this the song playing sings 'as long as I'm with you, it's a lovely day.'
I miss Ranj on days like this. Don't get me wrong I love my alone time but we so rarely have lovely weather that I wish he could enjoy it with me.
Recently I've been thinking alot about the difference between the very wealthy and the not so.
I have come to define wealth as time. The time you have in your day to spend as you wish.
I now know that god supports those who try. Those who seek out the possibilities of life.
As fortune has it, I get to spend most of my days the way I wish. I'm not even sure how this happened to me. I know I've always had this unwavering belief I was going to do something amazing but I didn't think this what it.
When I started my Law degree the goal was to be a partner at Clifford Chance, a very prestigious law firm. Then I moved into publishing and wanted to be the Editor of Vogue. In my very last interview for a junior writer role the Deputy Editor of Good Housekeeping asked me, why do you want this job? 'So I can be a very good writer.' I replied.
In the past year I've seen a different side to life. I've questioned ideas other than success, ambition and status.
As a caveat led me add, wanting those things isn't wrong they just made me feel less adequate.
When you're at school they teach you about measurable things.
Have you ever counted how many breaths you take in a day though? Infact have you spent a day aware that you're breathing.
No, me neither. I never took the time out to be with my breath.
It is costly though, this frame of mind that there's more to life then winning. I make it sound like sunshine and roses but I will probably never earn as much as you. I will never be able to buy all the things I want.
The grand idea instead is to look inwards at what was given to me for free. A head of hair, two eyes, a nose, two ears, two arms, two hands, a chest, a belly, two legs, two feet with two toes.
I can walk, talk, sing, smell, see and sense.
I will probably not be a bigger Youtuber then PewDiePie and roam the streets unrecognised never being applauded for my ideas. I'll always struggle to share my life on Instagram Stories and therefore never receive free PR goodies. I may never get one million people to read this blog allowing me to win an award.
If I get it right though, I will understand what it means to extend time.
If I get to spend that extended time with my Ranj, I'll have left the world a better place.
A place that rewarded my courage with time.
For those of you who come here for my fashion tips rather then my meditative ramblings, here's what I'm digging at this moment in time.
This dress, £284 is by a new brand I discovered, Nanushka, probably from Instagram. I love so many of their pieces though most have sold out in size small. I like a safari feel to my clothes with nude colours being my palette of choice. Light knit fabrics are trendy this summer and if you have the physique don't hesitate to buy something a little more figure hugging. Bows around the midriff will hide any bloating and give you a tummy tuck.
Okay it's getting chilly out here so I'm going to head inside. I'll speak to you in no time at all.