I've been living in this rented two bedroom house with Ranj for three months now. Yesterday I was taking a shower and the bathroom window was open a little more then normal. I had full view of the neighbours back garden which is perfectly tendered to by retired John. As the wind crept through the window and hot water flowed through the shower head, I looked further a field. I noticed a few houses down there was snazzy garage decorated to my standard and thought about how I would describe that very moment to you.
What followed were a string of odd thoughts. 'How will I tell you about the shade of pink that's caught my attention in Johns garden? How will I describe the goose bumps that are washed away as the almost boiling water hits my upper back. I need to turn the knob down that controls the temperature of this water. Okay back to the blog, no, why am I thinking about the blog right now? Why did I not open the window this much before? I've missed so many beautiful views each day. How much of the house have I not enjoyed yet?'
That's when I realised how even in the simplest of tasks you can find new things to appreciate. That shower wasn't dramatically any different to my last except my sister had stayed over and left it open that bit wider. So many things had aligned for her to have that shower before me and leave the window just so. It hadn't cost me anymore money to discover a view that was always there.
I know you might think this is a boring blog entry but that's the point. Not everything has to be about something big and important. Just listening and noticing the way your breathe is inhaled and then after a pause exhaled can be profound. You can silence your mind of chatter and envy by thinking about your breathing right now. Thinking about something small in detail is harder to do then you might think.
As I go to end this blog post I want to tell you something. Some days I come to write from a Starbucks and sit in the same spot as I'm a creature of habit. Each time I'm here the same girl changes the worktop where they store tissues, chocolate sprinkles and stirrers. She'll use the space behind me to do this and slams everything, everytime. It's so annoying and she's doing it right now whilst I'm trying to almost meditate as I write to you.
I'm always faced with the same three options - to ignore it and be frustrated until she'd finished, to keep turning around so she get's the message it's annoying or to feel empathetic and know I'm so lucky to be sat here, doing exactly what I want.
I've tried the first two so from now on each time she takes her aggression out on the sugar shaker, I'm going to breathe deeply and feel grateful that it'll be over in no time.
I've never shared anything so mundane with you but it was the perfect example. Whilst I trying to be all zen and preach good things, I wanted to injure this woman. That's just how life is, it's complicated. Your only responsibility is to try and be your best self despite all the distractions.
P.S. When in doubt, look inwards, it's where you'll find happiness.