I'm not a festival go-er, infact it's safe to say I've never stepped into a muddy puddle in whellies, wearing hot pants and a tassled waistcoat. I'm going to sound so boring but festivals, concerts and parades are things I'd rather not participate in. As someone who voluntarily dose the vacuum two times a day, it's just not my scene. I'm a clean freak who likes organising things to the perfect right angle. Therefore Portaloo's are to be avoided at all costs, even if that means I miss out on popular culture.
I love getting dressed-up but don't enjoy parties, crowded environments or group gatherings at all. I would've hated the sixties, I'm the most unlikely hippy. I love a billowing sleeve but on a camel coloured knit rather then a cotton crop top.
I know it's about the music, drinks and other substances at festivals but as a sober fashionista, I would rather go to the ballet. There's no expectation to have fun, you just sit, enjoy the atmosphere and chill. Not that I've ever been to see the ballet either, maybe I should do that! What would I wear?
For now let's get back to the music festival in LA, Coachella. Here's my list of essentials for anyone who is going...
Sunscreen, duh, it's the most useful item to have at your disposal to protect your skin from the sun. I'm not particular about the brand you should go for but I would recognise Hawaiian Tropic in the supermarket and reach for it - advertising works! I would go for a higher SPF rating, around 50 as it's sunny in LA with temperatures estimated to be 24°C on the first weekend of Coachella.
My sight is my most treasured sense so I would protect my eyes with sunglasses. I opted for this shape by Ray-Ban because they nail the micro-sunglasses movement without being too on-trend. I always talk about this but don't fall for trends. You'll spend a fortune on crap and in a few years time you'll wonder where all your money went. I have a pair of hand-me-down Ray-Ban's from my Dad which will never go out of fashion. The frame is a little too heavy for the bridge of my nose as they are men's glasses but they are epic.
A hangover is basically your body telling you that you're dehydrated. It's the worst feeling, leaving you with headaches, feeling lethargic and just plain moody. So carrying a colorful bottle of Fiji water around will complete your outfit and keep you energised. I just had a thought, it might be better to buy a Swell bottle and find a local watering hole. It's better for the environment and you can hide 'travel drinks' inside it discreetly.
Now as much as I'd love to pull off a bikini with short shorts, it's not going to happen. I'm flat chested with flab in that space between your underarm and side shoulder. So for me an off-the-shoulder dress which hides that area is a winner. This mini dress by Zimmerman would show off my long legs and make me appear slimmer. A lean girls go-to silhouette should be top heavy with bare legs. Shoulders age the slowest and are as sexy as, so this ruffle dress in a sunset pink would highlight my broad and bony assets. Add a spritz of MAC's Prep + Prime Fix+ and slap of MAC's Mineralize Skinfinish to get those shoulders reflecting their own summer shades.
I've never paid £1,570 for anything before! Actually that's a lie, yes I have, my car. A pair of Chloe boots would cost me my car which is ludicrous. Although, I feel like I've tipped into 'stingy' zone recently. I haven't actually brought anything new since Christmas 2017, bar a pair of new trainers. I'm not joking, I don't have a single receipt for a new item of clothing. My weight doesn't fluctuate much so I just rewear my Topshop jeans circa 2000-something. However, if money were no object or if I were a #Chloegirl (an influencer receiving gifts from Chloe) I would wear these snake print cut-out booties with that Zimmerman dress. They are comfy enough to jump around in, fashionable enough to get you pap'ed and tight enough to stay on your feet in the swarming crowds.
To stop the outfit being too matchy-matchy, I would add a contrasting oversized headband. You'll find a cheap version in Zara or you could just use a scarf you already own and tie it around you head with a bow. My mission is to inspire you to invest in quality but this Gucci headband will set you back if you're trying to buy a house. In the case of a micro-trend like this, you can stick to a highstreet buy but make sure you give it to charity once the trend ends. Don't hold onto things you don't need, they will clutter your mind.
I would top the whole look off with a burgundy Karan Rai London Carrie bag. The long shoulder straps allow you to use the bag as a cross-body so you can keep your belongings safe. You're free to dance the night away whilst keeping your phone, make-up and mini alcohol bottles hidden. Now all you need are some friends to dance the weekend away!
Product selection by Hannah Patel @Hannahpatelx